How does one learn to live without one’s Mother? It is a question that caused me nightmares for years, and now that it has become my reality I still don’t know the answer. Some days I think that I’ve got this, and then there are days like today where a simple interaction between another Mother and daughter in a restaurant sets off so much longing for my Mom. This daughter was telling her Mom that she had something in her teeth and was trying to help her fish it out. I know, it’s not exactly a sentimental moment, but it reminded me of us and of how we used to be.
We were Mother and daughter, soul mates, best friends, passionate partners in our business, travel companions, and exercise buddies. We liked the same books and would interchange them, we would go to the movies together, and we were both into health food. We just really liked each other and spent a lot of time together. I always told Bryon that when he met me, together with my Mom (of course!) he got a 2 for 1 deal, and that’s just how it was for many years.
I used to joke that I never really left home. I chose a college close to home so that I could still work with the horses in my spare time, and upon graduation I moved back home and joined the business. Anyone that knew Sigi well knows how much she loved having her children close by. If she’d had it her way, my brother would have never left home either! Thankfully he lives only a few miles away.
I know that I’m one of the lucky ones. Our relationship was rare and special, and in the 40 years that I had with my Mom we had so much quality time. Maybe that was why our relationship was so intense and we were so close, because it was destined to be short. I don’t have a single regret about my relationship with my Mom. It was beautiful and I’m thankful for every moment we had together… I just wish we’d had another 30 years.
Treasure every moment with the ones you love. There is no greater gift in this life.